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Prism of Light [Demos]

by Eli Winter

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1.
Better Way 03:06
I never thought I'd make it through the weekend. I thought I'd break before I found a way to bend. There's nothing I'm trying to say but that I hope you find a better way. Another day of nervousness and heartache. Another day of noticing that you don't have to break. You know you're broken anyway, and that it's something you don't have to say. I want to be a signpost leading the way to better, greater feeling, but nothing's going to make it go away. It's gonna stay with you forever. Just when you think you're getting better, you're gonna watch yourself decay. You know I'm turned on by a body wasting. I touched you and I felt like I could hear you sing. But silence has a will and a way. How could you think that I was trying to stay? I never thought I'd make it through the weekend. I thought I'd break before I found a way to bend. There's nothing I'm trying to say but that I hope you find a better way.
2.
Dead Friend 04:18
I remember what you looked like. Your hair was black and your skin was smooth. And even when a memory leaves, I still find a little bruise. I only really wanted you to come back. Already I wonder if it's worth it to say. What good is it starting in medias res when someday I won't remember your face? You remind me of a dead friend. I never wanted this to end. How could anyone have believed you were sick? You were too good for it to be true. I should have noticed. It wasn't a trick. I wonder what you already knew. If only my love were a talisman, I would have been a better friend. But how can I tell you what I would have made? Deep down, I knew you were already dead. You remind me of a dead friend. I never wanted this to end. You remind me of a dead friend. I never wanted this.
3.
Untitled 03:02
It's not guaranteed that you're make-believe. Isn't it a question of what you're told? You need to have more sympathy, welcoming yourself into your own fold. If I were a lion, I'd eat my mane. How do you let go of what you contain? I am a draftsman, and I'm drawing blanks. Relative perfection would come so close. You don't have time. You don't have what it takes. How can you fuck up when you're a ghost? Here is a window. Don't make a sound. You won't know you're broken 'til you've hit the ground. Please don't try to devise a quick way out. You're alone, just you and your shadow of doubt. You're never going to be tamed. You won't have anything to say. It's not guaranteed that you're make-believe. Isn't it a question of what you're told? You need to have more sympathy, welcoming yourself into your own fold.
4.
Don't you wish it were a game? We'd all play and you'd win every time. I want to recognize my face in a mirror. I'm too afraid to try. All I want is a prism of light that shines. Don't you feel so undefined? Aren't you scared of what you know? Can't you show me the passage of time? The clouds are thick with the weight of dead light. All I want is a prism of light that shines. A tree won't grow without watering the seed. You can't be a victim if you've never had to bleed. Not one more day. I need an image to lock in my mind. I want you to notice how hard I'm trying. We're grains of sand slipping into the tide. You have something I can't see. All I want is a prism of light that shines.

about

For years, I've written songs that have gone unheard outside of my head. I hear them in their entirety, with all parts arranged. I've wanted to realize them ever since I started writing them. But the learning curve is steep, schoolwork is demanding and we didn't have the money for instruments or recording equipment. What guitars I do have have come either from sheer luck, bargain prices or both.

In the interests of working with what I have, I started to focus on solo guitar--first, 6-string, and eventually Weissenborn and 12-string. I still love guitar music. It's changed my life. I love music as a thing to explore, and instrumental music as a way to create deep meaning. But my family recently acquired a field recorder. This marked the first chance I had to make something else and give you a sense of what I hear.

The field recorder allows you to record four tracks. The first three songs use all four. The last is an upgrade: it uses five. The foundations of these songs are composed. Embellishments--guitar lines and harmonies--are improvised.

These songs are trying to push outwards from the limitations with which they were made. Thanks so much for listening.

[My first record, The Time To Come, is forthcoming on Blue Hole Recordings. I'm planning a winter tour of Texas with my good friend Cameron Knowler. Dates to be announced soon.]

credits

released November 5, 2018

Better Way, Dead Friend and Untitled recorded and mixed by Eli Winter.
Prism of Light recorded and mixed by Ara Hanissian. Many thanks to him. [abojigcaeua.bandcamp.com.]

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Eli Winter Chicago, Illinois

Eli Winter is a guitarist and writer based in Chicago.
eliw97@gmail.com

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